Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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