is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
