This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
