i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
