But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
