He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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