Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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