he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
