At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
