We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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