How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
