I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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