i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
