do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
