yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
