I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
