I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found puke in my bra..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize