Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
