so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
