you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
