I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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