they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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