it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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