i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
