all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
