have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
