Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
