Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
