me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
tell me about the fingering
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
