i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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