We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
