I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
