Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That accounts for only three of the penises
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
