Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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