Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
