i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
