I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
