i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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