WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
