Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
