just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
