Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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