so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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