If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
