R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
