Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
