You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
