I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
our cab driver is having phone sex.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
