Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
