The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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